dream from 08 27 07

*i'm on the roof of my parents house. it doesn't really look like my parent's house. there's grass in the backyard. my father and i are talking about something while hanging out on the roof. i go down the ladder and into the house. the inside of the house is a large auditorium someone is having a party. i spot ahmed out of the corner of my eye. he has a bread and is wearing a blue cowboy shirt. it's his party. i walk up to him and he gives me this big, strong, long hug. then he introduces me to his lovely wife and his beautiful baby girl. she ask me if i want to hold the baby, i don't get to answer, she places her in my arms. something falls down and ahmed has to go help put it back up. his wife takes the baby out of my arms. she's gone, and he's gone and i bolt for the door like there's no tomorrow. i go sprinting out the door and down the street. the house was on second street i make a right on cerrillos. i'm running really fast my feet are barely touching the ground. this guy starts following me, along with a women a little later. even tho i'm motoring these people are following behind me like zombies, yet keeping up.

dream from 08 26 07

* i can't remember the first part of this dream.
* i'm in my bathroom, jett has just gotten into the shower. there's a baby in a crib/car seat in the bathroom, next to the toilet. i think it's crying. i try to fix the baby's hat so that i will stop crying. i fail at making the baby happy. i pull the shower certain back to get in the shower. will p. , sialia, and jett are all lying in the bathtub together. the bathtub is set up like a bed with pillows and blankets. jett tells me i should come in. i don't think i'll fit.

dream from 08 25 07 *killing an arab or a few*

* killing an arab is a song by the cure, it was their first single.



* i'm sitting at the edge of a lake, with my back to the lake.i'm facing a forest. i'm sitting with my legs tucked underneath me, i'm barely sitting in the water, i don't feel wet. i'm dressed like an arab women. i'm playing with this assortment of tiny toys.



some are homies, others just plain ol' toys. i'm spelling something, each one of them is a letter. as i 'spell' i throw the toy into the water behind me. i realize that spelling something with them is useless; that as picky as i am about who i choose to throw in the water they are all going to end up in the lake. as i'm throwing a miniature dog in the water he becomes a real dog. i look behind me there are rows upon rows of dead arabs in the water. all i can see is the curve of their back and their heads. they are all wearing little woven caps.



as i look further out onto the lake there are hundreds of them floating about, not in neat little rows. i freak out. i've been tricked into killing all of these people. i didn't mean to. i didn't understand. am i an arab killing arabs? am i an american killing arabs? who do i work for? who's government who tricked me? what am i doing there? i get up and start running clockwise around the lake. the lake is surrounded but large rock cliffs. the opening across from the forest is a meadow.
* i'm back in santa fe. i'm outside the shopping strip on cordova st. expect it's be transplanted to momtezuma st. it's been turned into the punk rock part of town. there's a new tattoo parlor open. i'm about to go into it but i notice that it's named 'goddess tattoo' and decide not to. i think their sign even had a fairy on it. i'm almost go into the punk clothing shop when i realize that i'm late for work. even tho i'm just down the street from work it takes forever to get there. i'm in the parking lot across from the shops. i'm trying to talk to some people, i'm clenching my jaw. i can't talk. i'm not in control of my mouth. i'm clenching so hard i start to bleed from my mouth, onto the ground. i go into work, my client has maybe canceled but i'm not sure. jett is there, his got this brad pit thing going. his hair is all slicked back, but it's longer than in real life. is his hair blonde? he is wearing a green/grey suit. the dress i'm wearing kinda matches. we go into the bathroom, it's gigantic. we are making out and there's a fire going. i should be more worried about work, but i'm not. the bathroom transports me into a strange and large city. it's like a whole city is contained inside a sky scrapper. it's kinda like an airport too. ( there's part of the dream missing from my memory here, it's like i live in the city, even tho i don't know my way around.) i'm lost. i'm looking at a map that is in some foreign language. the writing looks like in could be a combination of maya and chinese. i'm trying to get to the asian part of the city.



benji and emily are standing there with me looking at the map. of course they know how to get there. so we take the elevator that the map is posted next to. the elevator is alien to me yet makes perfect sense to benji and emily. at first when it comes up it as tiny little spaces to slip thro, it still goes up and down vertically. then it starts moving on a diagonal. benji and emily slip thro one after the other no problem. i'm stuck by myself trying to get into the elevator. it's moving very rapidly/ unpredictably . at one point i think i can make it thro but as i'm trying to drive the space closes in on it's self.



( like when you turn off an old TV, you see this bright white light shrink up into a black screen.) finally a blue/purpel/green opening shows up in the lower right hand corner. i jump into it. it's dark inside with all these glowing colors and shapes on the 'roof'. the elevator spins around in a circle. it's like a psychedelic elevator. where does the elevator take me?



* later in the dream i'm explaining how tiny the spaces emily slipped thro, i'm using the wood panelling in our loft to describe it to someone.
*kissing jett in the morning .pondering how it's possible that i don't have morning breath.

dream from 08 24 07

* i'm getting out of jail/ it's the end of the year in college. (one or the other not sure which it is). sophie is walking out of the dorm she's mad at me, i don't know why .i'm changing my shirt while sophie is stomping out. i'm not trying very hard to catch her before she leaves. i stand at the door watching down at her getting in a car. the dorm is on the second floor. is it even sophie? ( the next line in the dream journal reads " being at work having to fix a native american man's hair even tho it's not my fault" i'm not sure when this happens in the dream, cause, well i don't really remember it) i'm going to meet jett in the market i haven't seen him in a while. the market is our meeting place for him to take me home. as jett and i say our hellos i see ahmed. ( old school mate of mine, who i haven't talked to in a long time) i tell jett that i'm going to go talk to him and that i'll meet up with him later. i go up to ahmed, we start to talk, do we hug? i'm eating pizza which is his, some of my old high school friends are there with us. ahmed and i start kissing. i really want to kiss him but my month is filled with mashed up pizza which makes me self conscious.



i'm drinking milk at the same time too, out of a bottle. the line between jett and ahmed is fuzzy.( another nonsense scribble of writing " worrying about using a computer, remember there's no one at home with jett")



* one of my clients, elizabeth, calling about her hair, and complaining that it's faded. i think this is the night before/ after i had to fix her hair because it faded.

look what sophie did

dream from 08 22 07

* i'm at a waterfall with sophie. we take off. sophie's on a scooter she thinks i'm on the back but i'm not.
* i'm going camping with jett.
* micheal is back in town from the peace core. his hanging out at my house along with sialia. micheal and i are talking in my bed room. his making me uncomfortable. i'm wishing jett was around so i wasn't alone with him. micheal is covered in tattoos. he has a tattoo of 'the trust' on his hand, from 100 bullets.( see image) i go looking for jett. i climb the stairs to the loft. sialia is spooning jett. sialia sees me and moves around, i notices that she's naked and jett is too. i slink down stairs. melinda and art are sleeping outside, only the outside of my house looks like sophie's backyard.jett is being too friendly to lori. speaking of to friendly micheal is making my nervous. i go for a bike ride i'm looking for a shirt. i go to pick up some takeout. i'm explaining to the hostess what micheal did to me, she doesn't think it's a big deal.
* people jousting with gigantic asparagus.

dream from 08 21 07

* i'm walking past a cafe i see ahmed. he has the 90 degree angles shaved into the sides of his head. they look really cool. like this < < < < . i go up to my dorm. (maybe) i'm collecting things to take with me, i'm holding to many things and as i try to open the door i drop everything.including my tea.
* jett and i are fooling around in our bed. there're lots of people at the house. all the people in the house are stopping jett and i from having any alone time. the two squishy girls from grindhouse are standing in my door way. they are pressing against me along with another cute fat chick. does jett have a girl friend? i slam the bedroom door, it's really loud. someone gets really upset at me.
* i'm working on a movie set. everyone one the set really likes is when the director dresses up in funny costumes.
* i'm in san francisco and i need a map of the city. i've decide that i'm not going to do anything fun because jett isn't there with me.
* i'm going to take a shower. i'm standing in the bathroom, jett appears behind me he says he was there first. i'm really upset with him because his lying, but i let him take a shower first. ( we are fighting in the dream thus can not take a shower to together)

dream from 08 20 07

* sophie and i are walking down these stairs into a ritzy gallery complex. gail has a gallery in the space. i live/ work there. as we are walking toward the gallery i notice that i'm walking funny. i've got huge black pumps on and my right feet is completely perpendicular to my left foot. this cause a strange limp. gail's gallery is at the very end on the left hand side. the art work looks nothing like her's , and yet i like it.
* i've lost the ball to my tongue ring down the sink. i look down into the sink,the way it looks doesn't make logical sense, i don't know how to explain it. it is turned on it's side and you can sort of see tho it. john is next to me. i throw up a little in the sink. i can't remember the rest of this dream, i know it was really cool tho. was my sister there for part of it? why are dreams so hard to remember.

dream from 08 19 07

* i'm doing yard work with gail and zack in their back yard. it's nearing dark. we are in the very back where the herb garden is. poualie is helping us. i'm pulling weeds in the parsley. poualie is setting strange vegetables aside for himself. the weeds i'm pulling are so long that they go all the way up the other side of the wall. it starts to rain. i throw up in the garden on a postcard; i wipe the vomit off because i want to keep the postcard i like it a lot.
* poualie is sitting on a bed frame, drawing. the bed frame is made out of two materials one stable the other unstable. poualie is sitting on the unstable part. sophie keeps walking on the bed frame. poualie is getting very upset with her for moving the frame while he is trying to draw. poualie wants me to do something, it's my hotel and i'm the management. ( how a bed frame be a hotel, i'll never know)



*i'm getting ready for a sword fight in my old room; i'm all dressed up like a pirate. (this part of the dream flips back a forth, bare with me) i'm at a restaurant in my parents back yard. it's next to the back gate which leads to the shed. (also next to the herb garden) i'm trying to decide what to get for dinner. am i having trouble reading the menu? back in the room i cut myself with my own sword. back at the dinner table i'm sitting with my back against the gate. when i look over my shoulder there's a door open just a crack. i can smell heat and metal, i see an orange glowing light from inside. there's a little baby shoe outside the door; i push it thro the crack listening to it skip down the stairs to the glowing orange light. (is it hell?) the waiter comes and takes our order. back in the room i'm kissing jett all dressed up for the fight. sialia comes to help my capture the sword with bowls/ telephone insulators. ( i don't know what this means.)



suddenly my sword is out back next to the table. is the table still there? my sword has turned into a buddha with a bowl/ telephone insulator over it's head filled with water.



*i'm in zack's studio saying goodbye to sialia, her sweater is backwards. she's unsure if i'm really not mad at her .
* in san francisco going to see elizabeth west. biking/driving up large hills. san francisco looks more like austin.

dream from 08 18 07

*in the san francisco airport, trying to get home. (don't actually remember that part but if the book says so be it)
*throwing a party at gail and zack's house. zack is not around. everyone has just shown up to the party. emily, benji, sophie, jett, bridget, are all there. it's quiet late, 11:40 in fact. gail wants the party guests to leave at 12:00 or 12:30. we are standing in the office area discussing it. i'm pushing for later, but give up saying we'll just go to 'our' house when the time comes. (our house meaning jett and mine) one of the rooms in the house is filled to the brim with dirty dishes. i think we all get ready to leave and then do.



(before i got up to go to the bathroom i dreamt about a girl coming into my bedroom saying she was ready to ' the nasty ' but first i had to go check something in the bathroom. turns out i had to pee; when i fell back asleep no more cute fat chick)
* when the party continues it's at someone else house. the house is an old casita, only it's large and labyrinthine. the new hosts are cooking traditional new mexican. it looks really tasty. i'm sitting in jett's lap. i go out of the house into the big field surrounding it. i go into jett's truck that's parked on the side of the road. i'm rummaging thro the truck looking for something. some people pull up behind me. they need help, so i help them. in return for my help they want to give me some gasoline, i accept. ( i think in the dream jett and i are a ways from home) my corgi is with me he is a very well trained corgi, but he's exceedingly heavy i can barely pick him up.



( something happens here that i can't remember) the corgi and i walk back to the house along the road. my corgi walks next to me with out a leash. we get to the house and jett is gone, but sophie is there. we've missed the wedding, (whose wedding i don't know) but we are in time for dinner. neither sophie nor i are hungry, but the food looks SO good. (the food is different from before. modeled after the food at a wedding i was at a month ago) during the entire dream i'm trying to get in jett's pants.

dream from 08 17 07

( i don't remember most of this dream, i'll write what i have written in my book and anything else i can remember)
* people fucking with my blog
*school
*bike shop has 'what is that word i wrote?'
(okay i remember part of this bit)
* i need to go to work in the airport, but they wont let me thro for some reason. it's a large airport. so i take the secret ninja route to get past security. you have to take the elevator down a few floors, over, then up again. there are japanese people taking the ninja route with me; a little old lady and man. the route takes us tho offices in they look like they could be in a newspaper office.

dream from 08 15 07

*i arrive at this place by person airplane i think. i'm being judge by a committee of some sort. there's a huge elevator against the side of a rock mountain. the stone elevator is the smoking elevator. ian is there along with jett and a bunch of other people smoking.
* jett's hot for me. i'm looking up the legs of this beautiful naked girl. the skin on the backs of her legs is the softest ever.

am i manic depressive?

i try not to be in my body as much as possible. everything i do is escape from my body or mind: sleeping, reading, writing, watching movies, fucking, working, riding my bike, getting drunk, eating, cooking, playing poker, playing the box drum, playing video games, dreaming. i'm never satisfied, there's always something more that i want. this doesn't mean that i'm never satisfied with one thing, it's just that after that thing is 'complete' i want something else. like if i write i'm thinking about what i want to eat, and if i eat then i'm thinking about how horny i am. i feel like my body in my enemy and i'm a spy. i'm being nice to my body, tricking it, with secret plans of blowing it up. why am i so unhappy with my physic that i'm trying to escape from my body? what is it that i don't like about my self? is it something i can change? do i want to change it? i wish i could be a spirit, floating free having no affect on the physical realm.( why have i been losing my ability to drink responsibly?) i feel like i'm standing on the edge of the world looking over. i'm watching all the water in the world pour out into the galaxy. i know that i can't contain/stop the water and yet i want to. part of me wants to control gravity, and the other part of me is perfectly happy watching the largest waterfall ever know and having a front seat.

dream from 08 13 07

* jett and i live in a gigantic house. we are throwing a party. the sun is up; there aren't that many people there beside ethan.
* sophie is replanting plants outside my sacred hidden place. there is a stair way up my hiding place. it's like a loft or a tree house. i think sophie is pulling out plants and then immediately replanting them. my secret room has comics painted on the walls and on the floor. the floor is rubber like. the comics on the floor are lots of little panels, filled with dancing people. they move all on their own. they look like they were draw with graphite, they almost don't show up on the black rubber. the other colors on the floor are pink and purple. i have a small water bed on the floor. i'm back in my 'real' house. rumble's fish bowl is in the sink. i'm running water, it's getting into the bowl this pisses rumble off. he turns into a red translate sea horse. he's very cross with me. later he gets stolen by the squirrel like creature in ice age.



i see all of it in a crud animation style. the squirrel the 'sea horse' rumble tied down. he is driving wooden stakes into my fish!!!(well 'fish') this animation is all a re-cap, rumble is telling me via te...le..path..y, yeah. now where the large wooden stakes where are 'sea cucumbers'.( they are more like normal cucumbers) the one on his chest looks like a penis. it makes me laugh a little to myself. rumble is lucky to be alive and wearing a black carnival mask. my room mate added that last bit about the mask while i wasn't looking. after all that fuss about rumble i return to my tree house. there's something not quiet right in the air as i'm standing outside the door. there's something on the door that wasn't there before. a piece of paper? something smells like smoke. i open the door and the place is in ruin. something was burnt in the room, there's bedding all over the floor, but not as much as i left. ( i guess i was nesting in the room, putting down soft bedding, which most of is missing now) my water bed in gone too. but worst of all is the walls. my father has repainted over my comic book panels. he has painted a large figurative mural all over the wall. there are people i recognize in the paintings, my mother is one of them, and my father another. altho the fresh paint has no words in it i can see the message. the message reads: you fucked up, you did bad, you've ruin our family. how do i know that zack painted it, i don't know, but he did. as i pour out on to the stairwell tears, and sobs escaping me face; he is so proud of his new art piece. it appears that altho i am laying on the stairs in fetal position sobbing, my father could not be more pride filled for what he has done. he knows what it says, he thinks it's a good thing to say. does he know how hurtful he has been to me?

dream from 08 12 07

*i'm staying up in the woods in a cabin. it's a cross between mary's lake lodge and carol's old house. i have to leave for some reason. then i'm setting up home at the salon. jhon is doing hair at the front station, next to mine. there's a mattress in my station that i think is mine. i'm trying to aline another mattress next to it. the energy feels better if the new mattress is slightly outside my station. something happens. there is a roll about on the mattress. ( people rolling around on it, am i one of them?) i have an english client that brings me food so that i'll do his hair. he never comes when i tell him to. he brings me bangles and chocolate chip cookies. he makes it sound like i'm his mistress. he says i told him something like 'favors aren't free, you want so many you're gonna have to pay for them'. while living at the cabin/salon i go to the library bathroom to bathe and give myself facials. i'm in the elevator going down to the baths. the elevator makes loud churning/clanking noises, it gives me a headache. it also doesn't go down smoothy, it kinda lurks. there's a girl in the elevator with me along with an older women, her mother maybe? the girl has a crappy blonde dye job. her hair is yellow/orange with dark roots poking thro. her roots are salt and pepper. i can't stop staring at her. she has the most amazing eyes. they look like a tropical bird's eyes. they are the palest green, almost white, with red/brown on the lower right side. sometimes when she blinks there's a white patch on the right sides of her eyes. we exchange words. the elevator stops, i get out. the bathroom is like a locker room. is sophie walking with me into the bathroom? if she is she goes off and does her own thing; cause the girl is back along with her "mother". they are asking me about my artwork. 'what's it like? when can we see it?' i tell them i'll give me a card. i try to dismiss them, wondering how i'm going to pop my pimples with them looking at me.
* jett wearing my sportique shirt.

08 09 07

what did i dream last night? i know it was kinda interesting. oh, what was it?

dream from 08 08 07

*NOTE: dream rated XXX

*i'm in pam and daniel's house with max's cousin. i know that she is a mother in the dream. ( don't know why that is important) i ask her if she wants to be my first. she's unsure yet consents. maybe she's curious, just doesn't know it? i have a dildo/ vibrator. it's plastic yet shaped to look like wood. ( hehe wood) it has a triangular shape to it; very thick one end, pointy on the other. i decide that the thick end is too big for her. i put the pointy end in and the thick end against her labia. at one point she has it in her month. her eyes are rolling around looking pained. we never really start having sex. it just kinda trails off. is she there when daniel and billy come home? pam comes out of the bed room. i see her from behind. did i come out of the bathroom? pam is naked, which shocks me. there's something creepy outside, like a physco killer. there's all these nun looking women standing outside facing each other. they're all looking up at the sky with their mouths open. ( like in the 'cell' ) there's something running in between them, inspecting them. racine isn't there, am i worried about her?
* my dream transition reminds me of a fox network ad/commerical. i'm in in a dank/ dark room with this really freaky sketch book. the sketch book is full of dirty/crud drawings. they remind me of marc's drawings, all the pictures are of naked people. i'm totally freaked out by them. jett appears and say's "it's only porn, why are you freaked out by them? " " i just am" i reply.
* jett and i are in the villa linda south movie theater. we are going to see a horror movie, is it about the killer in pam/ daniel's back yard? we sitting outside the theater where our movie is showing. we are facing each other with our feet touching, creating a diamond. or are we cross legged? we are kissing. there's a plant in between our legs. in the mist of kissing i eat the top part of the plant. ( i don't even know that i did it , it felt natural ) jett becomes upset with me for eating his plant. i say that i'm sorry. we go into the movie theater, but now sialia and will p. are there with us. jett and sialia are still dating. will sits in the row in front of us directly in front of sialia . jett sits next to sialia and i next to jett. is someone else there with us? jett gives sialia a kiss or vis versa. this makes my blood boil. is he dating both of us? i'm bothered so i go out into the arcade. it starts to hail. inside. just small hail but lots of it. there's a girl in the arcade that i 'know' in real life. in 'real' life he has pink hair is her hair pink in the dream? . we stand together under something trying not to get hailed on. i go back into the theater. as i sit down the girl walks by. her hair is different from before; it's purple/blue/pink now.

dream from 08 07 07

NOTE : large chunks of dream missing. sorry. when 'reel' is missing i will tell you what i wrote down that; most of it makes little or no sense.
* i'm getting a tattoo by dawn. i want to get a girl in orange on my chest. i'm scanning thro youtube looking for the right picture. i'm stressing about finding the right one. have i seen it before? do i even know what i'm looking for?
* missing reel * on a road trip with jett. staying in a crappy motel.
*missing reel * going to a grocery store with jett. coffee shop? subway?
*missing reel * going to see a creepy guy with sophie and jett. he has a really swank house. sophie " found" him . i don't like him.
*missing reel * flying over LA and san francisco, everything covered in water.

dream continued from 08 06 07

* i'm in the NY NY airport with gail . we are going to see a library of all the marvel comics ever created! i'm looking up the libraries on this tiny little computer. everything in the computer is 3-D, when i turn the computer from side to side the image on the screen moves too. we are going to library " R ". it's apparently huge!! we are waiting outside the airport for zack to come pick us up. zack is in santa fe tho. i think this might be a problem, gail does not. i'm feeling ill. i throw up all over the concrete. there's a little sink near by with tooth brushes. do i brush my teeth, or just want to?
* walking down the street with sawyer and a few other people. i tell him he'd be cute if he wasn't sawyer.

dream from 08 06 07

* i'm staying in a beach house or something. it's quiet and lovely. i'm trying to go home tho, and i'm having trouble. i think there's supposed to be a private plane that picks me up at the beach house and takes me home. the plane is intended to arrive on the veranda. goes it ever come, do i get to go home?



*i'm in denver at daniel and pam's. (their house doesn't look like it does in real life. it looks more like the house on kalamath st. combined with a dream of their house i had a few months ago. ) i'm in the bathroom which is off the kitchen. the whole bathroom is full of spanish/mexican saints. perhaps there's even some chinese deities. i never knew that pam liked this kind of thing, i'm excited cause now i know what to get her for christmas. as i come out of the bathroom, everyone is sitting down at the the dinner table. ( billy, gail, zack, maybe pam are there) i ask gail when we have to leave, cause we are all driving together. gail says tomorrow. i don't want to leave tomorrow, cause it feels like i just got there. billy says he wants me to stay a few more days. i'm smoking and i keep dropping my clove. billy tells me to put out my clove and come eat.




*i'm riding my bike down a big hill in san francisco. i'm going extraordinarily fast. i can't seem to brake so i just try to slow down a bit; finally i stop. i end up with someone (kate?) that is taking me somewhere. we go to this strange house. the whole down stairs is a big squishy bed. there are lots of people on the bed. many of them appear to be disabled. they're all talking nonsense, i don't understand what's going on. i leave my bike in their "safe" keeping and go back to where i am staying. i'm staying in san francisco with nicole. nicole is my guardian in the dream. i confess to her that i went out riding. ( which i guess is bad cause it's dark outside? and i was alone? i don't know. ) does she get mad, or not? i tell her that i left my bike with these people, and that i need to go back to retrieve it. ( i don't know if she's the one to tell me that if i've left my bike somewhere it's probably gone. ) the thought of my bike being stolen makes me very sad. i go back to the place where i meet "kate".i've decide that my bike should be there, even tho i left it with squishy bed people. do i find my bike? am i with nicole looking for my bike?

*i'm hanging out with a bunch of kids in this posh 'pool house'. who are these people? is it a family reunion? a wedding? the house has sliding glass doors. can we get out? there's a cute boy, that i want to talk to. he has dark hair and pale skin. is he on the outside? can i not get him? am i the one on outside looking in?

dream from 08 05 07

*john and i are in a womens' bathroom. i'm in a stall and jhon comes in and we start kissing. * i've left my beta in a cold room over night and he has died. his colorization has changed. he's all blue and white. i'm upset. *john and i kissing in my kitchen. john spits in my mouth, i try to spit out his spit into the sink. it's hard, i doesn't want to come out.

* i'm staying in this hotel. the outside has a large chartreuse shape on it. when i'm checking in at the front desk there's a bunch of bikers meeting in a room off the lobby. one of the bikers' wife says that jett should go into the biker meeting. that he belongs there, i tell her i think she's mistaken. (jett isn't in the rest of hotel dream so maybe i'm wrong.) i'm in the elevator with an amputee girl. she has no lower legs, they stop right at the knees.



she's in a wheel chair. she's my girl friend. the elevator doesn't work properly. it doesn't go up high enough to get out on to the next floor. it stops five feet to low to get out. we get to the last floor. the floor is still above my head. i pick up the girl and slide her thro the foot tall opening. i push against the bottoms of her legs. i can feel her toes pushing thro against her skin. it's like her feet are stuck inside her legs. i go up to the roof, the girl's no longer with me. the roof has grass on it, it's kinda like a park. i'm sitting on a bench looking at a women across from me. ( is she sitting on a bench or on the grass?) she has a gigantic scorpion on her right shoulder .



i'm scared of scorpions, especially huge ones. she has a bob haircut, she moves her hair from one side to the other for the scorpion. she sets 'him' down on the ground to come see me. i'm terrified. as he comes over to me he changes. he has short stubby legs, like a corgi.



the legs are human arms. the rest of the body is like a monkey's. the legs are all so covered in hair. the hair is curly and matted. the underneath is dark and the top light. it's tail is still like a scorpion's but covered in hair. he has the face of the boogieman. hair comes up right to the facial features, like an owl's face or howl from 'howl's moving castle' . his face looks perfectly symmetrical. like the forest spirit in princess monoki.



he is about as big as a monkey, his coming at me like he wants to play. i'm absolutely terrified. as he comes closer to me he changes again. now he looks kinda like a chinese dragon.



it's make of all different bits of things, yarn, flesh, etc. it's shaking it's head like a dog, it's grown larger. it's eyes are like a slot machine, they scroll as he shakes his head back and forth.



it's not just numbers, it has skulls too. i'm really scared; i keep shrieking. i can turn the beast into a tall middle aged man with a mustache, then i'm not scared of him. if i make i eye contact with him tho, i see the monster's eyes and i scream. is there someone with me. maybe it's jett,the girl? they don't help me, but i'm also don't ask for help.

*i'm in this house with a bunch of kids, a mother and a father. the parents are fighting. am i in charge of the kids? am i one of the kids? the top floor of the house is like a jail. there's an open space in the middle with rooms on either side. there's a bridge across the way. the parents want me to destroy the the bridge, if i do it will mean the end of their relationship. i don't want to destroy it. is sophie there?

* i'm in a large old fashion movie theater. we are on the far right side of the stadium. rebecca, her boyfriend, jett and i have just seen a movie. i'm putting my boots on. i'm having trouble . rebecca and her boy are being cute. jett is being a jerk to me.

* there's a party at my house. pam and daniel are there but they are in a fight. all this fighting in the house is stressing me out. i have a pet lizard in place of takkun (my hedgehog) . i want to feed the lizard, but the cage is in the loft and the way to get to the loft it outside ( in the dream). as i'm making my way outside there's a women looking for her missing pet rolly poli. i raise my eyebrow at her and tell her i haven't seen it.

08 04 07

all of my dreams from the past three days all run together. i need to start actually writing them down that very day. one of them had to do with racheal and the mall. also a strange farm house and lots of stuff hanging all over the walls. i was trying to make it with her.