wave of mutilation.

i hear your not doing well and i yearn for you

listening to chelsea hotel #2 feels like for the last time

i'm ready to put this year to bed

it's to perfect for you, my lover of lovers

to move into that bare and empty room

stains on the carpet and the hallway always smells like cooking

i never once heard you say

i need you

i don't need you

i need you

i don't you

you hold on, so tightly

fingers barely touching

and sometimes i almost love you

yearning for him, my poor drunk cowboy

lost out at sea

but he isn't the one that got away

i'm just, worried underneath it all

i'd never say i love you

but the fear of your hatred is growing inside me

it'll all come to close at the same time

starting over in the same place as where i left

i just press the repeat button

go on gaining weight, losing weight

the moon wanes and waxes

what's missing?

is it something i lost or something your missing

sometimes you love me so much

i feel like i'm drowning in your sea of emotion

are we all one big cliché?

am i?

lets go stay in the tower of song for the weekend

and i'll listen to the stranger song back to back with remembering you well

in the chelsea hotel

soon a faded memory, with you locked up inside it

blood on the sink

this isn't about you

let your angry subside

all that fire is gonna burn you up boy

'it keeps me warm'

when he speaks like this you don't know what he's after.

let go and accept it

i was always afraid of drowning

see you soon jeffy boy

*waves*

move on.

that's so easy to say when you on this other side

twittering is so much less pressure than this

and there's more or less people watching

i'm still unsure of that

if i called to fired you but you beat me to the punch

would you still begrudgingly read my blog

the hearing in my right ear is all stuffed up

my landlord wants to come look at my hotel room a week early

what gives

coughing fits in the middle of almost sleeping

time moves in mysterious ways in this house

starting already, never wanting to leave

but maybe it's about something else

that maybe i'll tell you about someday

but from where everyone else is standing

they don't get it, and i kinda like that right now

secrets, surprises, and tickling

it's spring and my head's shaved

money drop offs like some kind of cool gangsters

just estranged lovers

the color of my hair almost matches your eyes

and you pet my head as we walk thro the supermarket

he loves me

i love him not

he loves me not

i love him

he loves me

2012, it's just a ride and 700 dollar deposits

Blizzard of '77

cracked thumbs

forgetting what to say

black squares on the ceiling

wondering if you're thinking about me

one, two, three

in what order you'll never know

i'm afraid for you to hear me singing thro the walls of in

desecration

right arm heart attack

and it never comes out how i'm thinking

sweet pickles, honey, and wondering if you'll buy my ticket

things i'd never buy if i wasn't with you

it all comes out wrong

the life sucked out of it

i don't feel so alone here at home

new steel in my lip

feels funny

the way you look at me

135

and

123

88

it's my birthday soon

and i'm getting sleepy hoping i didn't get you sick

wearing his pants and your muse

tip toe into my dreams and hold me tonight

i can keep a secret if you can

mmm, smells like you

is it bed time yet?

Hi. . .

there's star light in my hallway but i still miss someone

mirrors and pinks, blues, and oranges

the chance at something great

and everyones worried

for they're place in my lovely lonely cold cold heart

we look good together

short/tall/short

theses should be blue but not you

keyholes and the future

keys and the past

and where are you tonight?

you look good in a dress and i'm such a dork

nail beds hurting, along with my foolish pride

you look good in anything when you're smiling

or something like that

crash and burn

those feelings you have for me are like premature ejaculation

it's not saturday yet, and i'm twitterpated

scrap books and hard feelings

undecided beds and remember that time

we were dancing to devochtka and i didn't want you to see that i was crying

over you

my true love, the only one don't you see

i tell you i'm sorry i'm broken as if i won't do it again

and sorry i cracked your cd case

it's never going to be the way you liked it being

scared shitless of someone in the driveway to it end up being you

blue irises every year after that

and who does that?

my room is gonna smell so much like spring tomorrow

i can't hardly wait

plus i'm glad i'm not a guy, cause oh my god that is so annoying

i should soak and then sink into the tranquil sea

. . . bye

piano keys, tapped gently.

you bring everything back to me

everything from shoes that fit to mix tapes

every word seems perfectly crafted to mean what you say

'nothing's perfect'

matching sets left in the closet

train tickets resting peacefully, yearning, next to the green stems in water

something in my room smells like paulie

and how can you tell just by looking at me

or are you playing close attention to everything at hand

may's been deep on my mind

crap apple blossoms and new years to come

blood red: eyes, shoes, and hearts

told you already

they're hugging in my shadow

as i leave myself out in the cold for a hurt all over again

she says we wouldn't be having this conversation

if, he was the right one

it's so good to remember what hurts so badly

as you hand me my overly rip earl grey

tears go streaming like shooting stars

aglow

inside my stomach filled with milk and cookies

is it nothing more than a miss matched perfect pair?

and there i go again using that word

something just doesn't fit right

all sides the same color but one

all tossed up with blues, orange, green, and white (red)

how can you get three sides and still be missing the forth

the end to all ends

pass(t) the looking glass and the holy trinity

he says if he disappears it will all have been a lovely dream

nothing gained, nothing lost

stars are resting on the watery steps of heaven

and don't worry for tonight

you'll lose all over again

and even have a headache in the morning

lucky you

why can't i have my cake and eat it too

all my flowers have odd flower petals

he loves me

he loves me

he loves me

he loves me

to think that i could have it all worked out at twenty is unfair

i know that

but it always feels like i'm so close to seeing all the stars

the night sky has to offer

take these chains from my heart

i don't even know if i love you anymore

it's just like something i'm use to

so i keep doing it

23 on the clock and you call

i don't answer

and now you know how everyone else feels

'is it getting colder in here?'

guess the bowl of warm water didn't help too much