Tuesday, October 7, 2008

the way i felt about yous last week.



i'm so in over my head. my hair is driving me crazy. i know this is a bad idea like a really bad idea and i over did it with my little fox. why do the good girls always like the bad boys? maybe there's no danger at all and that's what i like about it. your fingers tumble over the piano keys as i rest my chin on your shoulder. drunkenly listening to to ideas float over the black and white keys. i think your the only 17 year old in the world that would know who chopin is and be able to play me some on your laptop to boot. maybe if i shaved my head all my worries would drift away. this hair has kyle written all over it. if you gave me the chance i'd tell every boy in the world that boys like him don't like girl like me. which just isn't the truth. everything has become mundane. i miss running my fingers along yours, touching and holding. just waiting to kiss you. now. . .i'm easy, doing whatever i feel like. i guess i wish you were thinking about me the way i'm thinking about you. am i really so bored that i want a boyfriend?

i think you just think your over him, and that you really like the way he kissed you. but he's so far away and he's good. like so good and as much as you want to be good, you just don't. but you feel like you wasted time and energy on kyle, so what makes this drugy musician any different? don't pretend it's cause he's got brown eyes. in a month you'll be looking over your shoulder going yea, no, what was i thinking and besides cory likes him; which is a sure bad sign. so he's either not interested or has had a crush on you for like forever and a day. why does that fire fighter keep looking over here at me? he kinda reminds me of this kid i went to school with. ( which is funny cause a week later, you do too) do you remember going out to dinner with sophie at il vicino and looking at that guy and then getting all shy? even sophie was like what are you looking at? i can't even remember what he looks like.

i think i'd rather be depressed than feel this way.

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