touch myself.

stars right, i'm gonna have a nasty scar on my face. there's spray paint on my hand, my hair and in my nose. i've decided to not sleep it seems. he's back in town and i wonder if you want to lose my number. i mean, what me to lose yours. i'm bored of being lonely, so bored i'm almost tried. i'm acting like a teenager listening to the same song over and over again. thinking about nothing that has to do with a real live you. did you find me tedious? am i gonna get caught? i saw you looking at me thro the window, could you see me smiling back with hate in my eyes. i wanted to punch you all day. and worse than that, for you, i just smiled at you and ignored you. you didn't deserve to touch me. but then again i'm always trying to convince boys they don't want me, so what do i know. sometimes i wish my skin was endlessly smooth without things underneath and on the inside poking out. get down on your knees and do anything for me. i can't remember the end of the fall. and it all has crystal meaning. splitting off into thousands of directions, and here comes the same helicopter. am i sick of this song yet? 3.21. how about you, can i be sick of you yet? i forget that time moves on, and that if we are lucky we have another day to get what we want. i use to be so good at being patient. look at me now. i want you to love me. i smell like shit, and need a new pair of lungs. why is it when people tell me sweet things i think they are lying? you have a pretty voice, to bad i can't do anything with it. obsession comes in the form of lazy day summers, turning into cold evenings. sitting at the atomic too early, eating green chile cheese fries. sophie's brand new blue converse, and rain falling out of the sky. sitting in the graveyard winding grass along brass and stone. everything smelled like pink, i'd give anything to get my wisdom teeth out again. i lost my point, find the new razors, stolen and given, and i've rambled on to long, time to pretend to sleep. maybe not just yet. no yea i'm lost. i think i use to feel this way alot. earlier this year that is. seems like nightmares and days ago. it was and i wasn't. i want to be storing for the winter. not get left out in the cold like the grasshopper. but you can't store people, they don't keep like jam. my stomach is lonely, i wonder what it wants. maybe the sooner i nail the coffin shut i'll feel better about the thing inside looking back at me. with those, were they bright blue eyes? or soft and gray? they couldn't be brown, that would be far to simple. i wonder if my hand would light on fire. i touch myself. the goosebumps of loneliness consume my skin. what do i want from you? it's the first. i think i'll always get my horoscope backwards. hi?