Thursday, July 12, 2007

long lost dream



*i'm in my parent's backyard sitting at the table with my parents. zack says something to me that i'm not gonna take. he has his face turned away from me with hair obscuring it. when i pull on his hair turning his face toward me it's gail, not zack. ( it was gail's body all along, i just didn't know) i yelled to "him" NEVER TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN. "gail's" face looks back at me in silence.
* i'm walking from my house to somewhere. i'm on alameda walking east. it's twilight, i'm walking really fast, taking huge steps. i'm thinking that i better get a move on cause "they" come out at night. (zombies? others?) i end up in the parking lot of whole foods but it's spliced with the front parking lot of santa fe high. a movie is showing and i'm meeting sophie and jett. we are going to watch a sequel to something that just came out in the theather. i'm looking at the box for the movie. it has cammeron diaz in it and someone else famous. sophie and i are talking about how the temperature is dropping quickly and that we are COLD. i tell her we can make it back to the house safely.(for a hoodie) that i'll keep her safe. she doesn't want to go tho. the comic book store has a booth in the parking lot. Chris D. is there. they have chairs barricading their table. like a desk kinda. i try to take one. they wont let me take one. i sit next to jett, the movie is starting. it's nothing like the box i was looking at. it's has muppets in it. they're on a toy train. gonzo is in it.



*driving on a winding dirt road. the kid from 'knocked up' is driving the car, or at lest it looks like him. from my window i can see a bunch of polar bears dress in creamsicle colored dresses. the way the dresses fit the polar bears bothers me; maybe it's cause they don't fit at all. the dresses hang off the bears shoulders. if you were going to make polar bears wear dresses wouldn't you custom fit the dresses? i can imagine the dresses not even zipping up the back. there's one polar bear wearing pants and a vest, he's looking at his pocket watch. the guy driving pulls into a driveway to the right of the polar bears. there's a bunch of trees growing in front of the house. the tress form a circle, it feels like the way they're panted has some sort of meaning. we park to the right of the trees.he takes me inside but it's not him anymore. i'm lead to this room with this girl i know in it. (i know her only in the dream) she's taking care of this guy. there are sitting on this tiny bed. he's going thro withdrawal. he's like a fucking zombie. i leave the room holding back vomit.( i think in the dream i know him or maybe i work with junkies. what normally i could handle disgusts,scares, and saddens me.) i walk thro a hallway into the kitchen. in the kitchen there's a huge table that encompasses almost the whole room. i walk into a hallway off the kitchen on the other side of where i came. i lean against the wall and slide down. i start crying. i'm squatting, crying and looking up at the wall. on the wall there's lights with flowers around them.orchids.



there's a piece of canvas cut out in a polygon mounted on the wall.at first i think that when the lights reach the edge canvas they stop and then there are orchids painted on the canvas. the closer i look i see that they are lights. i don't understand why someone would bother to mount them partially on the wall and then on canvas. there's a room to my right there's something similar in it. there's a painting on the wall of flowers. there are also flowers painted on the wall and frame. the flowers are all different kinds of colors. it's will's room where he's saving all his stuff for when he moves out of our house. ( like a "hope chest" ) i get up and look into the room next to "will's" room. i think will is sitting in the room on one of the many little beds in the room; playing the guitar. later in the dream i'm sitting in the kitchen at the large table talking to someone.

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