29/08/5/36

obsession becomes you, cigarette after cigarette .i've removed your voice from your face. your nothing if your not obsessed. i can't stand the way i'm feeling and it has nothing to do with you. your just the innocent bystander. i want you so badly, and next month you'll be gone. i don't think you mean anything at all. i think you remind me of him in a strange way, i'm wishing for fall light and freckles. how can you remind me of that, when you don't have anything to do with the way he looked or smelled. i can't smell you, clove in my lungs, and stupid words at my finger tips. slap me, hit me, break me. say you'll be mine for only a matter of time. it's growing on me, and i think i even like it. i'm listening you thump those keys till hate fills up in my lies. i wanna lose control over you, and get everything bad i ever wished for to pour over me in one big gulp. but then i have to remember that you'll be gone tomorrow nothing more than a lost worry on my pretty little head. so do it. make me what i am just for one day. pathetic and useless all at your command. i wouldn't know what to do with you if i even had you. and this is why i don't let people in, read this shit that drifts out of my fingers. something wrong with me? i wanna fuck you, rip your eyelids off, wear them as butterfly kisses. i want to become you, just like a cure song, only better. i always wanted to be a boy. tall and skinny with converse, and blue eyes; with a thirst for notes and synth music. can't stand this any longer. the best part about getting over you is not knowing if you'd say no or yes in the first place. i tell zack i want a painting with color. i don't cry until 105 minutes into control. what's become of me? am i over you? or am i over being over you? what is this i hoping for, another disaster? i wish i'd never meet you kyle. you could take timmy too for all i care, and marshall. grind my finger nails into my flesh. trainspotting made me worry you'd cursed me. but now i just smile, because i look like a young ewan mcGregor with my head shaved and my face making funny faces. maybe cory's right, maybe i'm just tried of sleeping by myself.