blankness covers all

my mother sent my a letter today

i'm listening to the prelude at the end

the end of what?

why does the thought scare me so much
incapable
for boys to love

is it because i feel incapable

please don't fall in love with her tonight

and you, knock it off already

but yes even now i'm starting to miss you

as the cold winter air crawls behind my eyes

and burrows in, to make my tears extra icy

to match my heart

if you go away. . .

goosebumps and all the boys i've kissed this year can't save me

am i so alone to be afraid

skip ahead to where it rains

and remember that fountain pouring over green fern leaves

wonder where you are tonight

especially like now when i need someone to hold me

i don't want to buy christmas gifts for anyone, be nice and look pretty

go fuck yourselves as i crawl into a dark hole

winter biting at my toes

i was so worried, thinking i wouldn't make it out of the cave

maybe you'll keep your promise

and i'll keep mine

scaring everyone off just the same

skip

back the the prelude

sometimes wishing i heard it for the first time, just now

no wait. . . . . .











































































now.

take all this love from my wild heart and

throw it out like rusted old ashes

i'm so tried of being this old face

with nothing new to say for it's self