i shouldn't be showing this off. it's badly written. but feelings are feelings, and i'm wearing my heart on my sleeve for this one.
you make me so sad and angry inside that i have writers block. and blood in my stool. i wanna die when i think about your face and another girl touching it. why didn't you want me anymore. what did i do to disinterest you. i feel like i'm dying on the inside. i want your meanness, i could just wish it was niceness and beggars would ride. fill me up with hatred and remorse. running to the beach and spying on you. remember how you told me that before you meet me you didn't believe in ever afters. you said you'd never fall in love again. that it was unless and full of lies. well i guess you took it from me. you turned me into someone we both could hate. i miss you. and i miss us. i can't remember what it was like. the way i felt happy. i know it was there, i can't lie. love, love will tear us apart, again. i remember watching high fidelity for the first time and being like that is the most shit ending i've ever seen. then when i watched it again, i thought it was sweet and truth full. wonder what i'm feeling now. you took from me everything you could steal. and it's not the new beginnings, but don't get me wrong they are nice. i spent five years plus thinking this was the one. this is it! what happened to you? when did i stop being your dream girl? did i turn 18? was i too real? i tried to tell you over and over again. but it's like you knew the serena train came at 6 o clock and you just missed it over and over and over and over again. what a fool was i, i thought every 24 hours you'd get on... my tummy would get excited over and over just to be waiting to long at the train station, hoping you were only a few minutes late. when i told you i'd get drunk and do it again you nodded. but i knew i was closer than you thought, cause as mad as i was, i was still more mad at you. crying while brushing your teeth is difficult and gets boring quickly. what do you hate most about me? can you remember the way i taste. i can't remember anything about you. you've left me with this empty feeling that i can't shake. even my stomach feels it. i can't keep anything in it all goes spinning out in every direction. you'd hate this song. did she make you feel special? oh . . . . want did i do wrong for you. nothing. nothing .nothing. i'm magic, and i don't need a magician. this relationship wasn't big enough for two peter pans. and it was like last time i didn't trust you to do what you were supposed to do. you thought i was brave. i should have know then. what was i thinking? packing with no where to go? why aren't you home anymore? why can't you be the one i'm hoping goes into the afterlife? in a strange way i don't think it's over. part of me does, tears streaming down my dirty face. the other part is waiting to wake up next to you. would you love me right the next time? is this what you're thinking too? is that why you didn't even try to win me back?
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